Humorous Lists for the Longer-Lived
Things We Wish We’d Known Before Deciding to Grow Older
Second Half Laughs has begun creating what it hopes will become the definitive list of things one ought to know before “deciding” to grow older. We need your help to make the list grow longer! Please give us your thoughts.
- That gravity always wins. (SHL)
- That your nose never stops growing. (SHL)
- That realizing that you really will die one day can take a lot of the fun out of living. (SHL)
Things Not to Do Just Because You’re Growing Older
There are plenty of lists about things to do before we run out of time. At Second Half Laughs, we’ve begun what we consider a much more helpful list—things you should Never do just because you’re growing older. The addition of your own thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
- Begin a bowel movement chart. (SHL)
- Sell your kidney so you can dress couture for your 35th college reunion. (SHL)
- Conclude that there's no such thing as too many cats. (SHL)
Wisdom of the Aged
Age-enhanced proverbs, quotations, and familiar sayings:
- Tis better to have gained and lost and gained than never to have lost at all (SHL | Boston)
- To sleep- Perchance to sweat (SHL | Boston)
- A plague on both my ex-spouses. (SHL | Boston)
Notes from the Aging Underbelly
Random rants, raves, ruminations, ramblings, reactions, and regrets from the generation that was sure it would never grow old, or at least hoped that it died before that happened.
- The only thing that makes me feel better when I look at people in their 20s is that I know that one day they will be as old as I am, but they don't. (Tim | UT)
- Getting old sucks. (JLP | NY)
